Sorry. I fell off the face of the Earth for a while there, didn’t I?
I guess that’s the thing about writing. A day can turn into a week or a month in the blink of an eye and then you’re sitting here – staring at a blank page – trying to will words into being.
I have been drinking copious amounts of coffee, reading books, chasing deadlines, organizing files, parenting a toddler, and training – just so I can maintain my sanity. Don’t even get me started on Christmas shenanigans. Needless to say, I’ve hardly had time to catch my breath, let alone sit down and write something coherent.
Somewhere between the coffee consumption and parenting, I fell into the end-of-year-trap. It starts with people stating they “Can’t believe it’s already December!” whilst decorating their desk with fairy lights and organizing the staff Christmas party. It continues with people talking about their holiday plans to far-flung, exotic places and their plans for 2019.
Cue record scratch, everything goes into slow motion.
We can’t be heading into a new year because what the hell have I achieved in this one?!
This very moment is when someone should have walked up to me and given me a slap. Or, at the very least, told me to wake up and look around.
2018 has passed by in an increasingly frantic blur of meetings and coffee and diapers and Tinder dates. January blurred into March into July into September and December.
I’m going to toot my own horn for a minute here because e v e r y t h i n g in my life has changed and I am damn proud of what I have been able to do in the space of a year.
J A N U A R Y
I traveled to Australia with a group of friends in celebration of an upcoming wedding. We went to Dreamworld, wildlife sanctuaries, a cabaret dinner show, casinos, pubs, and mega-malls. We hung out at beaches, wandered through markets, and got lost (multiple times) on public transportation. We hired a party boat, a stripper, and did karaoke. I made memories that will last a lifetime and explored a part of the world with some of my very best friends.
F E B R U A R Y
My best friends got married. My son turned one. Both of us got incredibly sick. I started studying (again), this time to become a registered legal executive.
M A R C H
I fell in love. With a car. My best friend and I flew down to Christchurch and drove it back up to Auckland. It was the fastest road trip of my life, but also the best. As it turns out, spending up to ten hours in a confined space with a person can really define how much you like (or hate) a person. It also solidified my faith in the universe. Ask and she will deliver — that truth was hammered home during this trip.
A P R I L
It’s my birthday month!!! I say that for twenty-seven days of the month, just in case anyone forgets that I am getting older and wiser with each passing day. I went on a date with a boy who would change a lot of ideas of how I see myself and the world. My creative spark came back, so I started another blog.
M A Y
Mother’s Day. My mum’s birthday. My dad’s birthday. I got my assignment grade back – A+. There were a lot of reasons for celebration. I started getting itchy feet. I felt the need to move on and ‘make something of myself’. I started telling the universe, in quite specific detail, about my ideal job.
J U N E
I saw my ideal job listed on a job board. I applied and was simultaneously rejected for the job. Days later, I was called and told there was a mistake and I was short-listed. I interviewed. My son had surgery. I got a call saying that I was the preferred candidate and how soon could I start?! It was a whirlwind of contract signing, house hunting, daycare visits, and packing. It’s amazing how much of your life can fit into a few cars and a trailer. I moved to Auckland, my son started daycare, and I started my new job. I also managed to sit my first exam and have two of my wisdom teeth extracted. What. A. Month.
J U L Y
It was a blur of rushing to daycare, to work and home again, only to repeat the same thing the next day. I was exhausted, rushed, and mildly stressed, but I loved it. I settled into a routine and I began figuring out what my ‘new normal’ looked like. I had a small break after my exam and then drove straight into my next subject for my diploma. According to my Gmail records, I created this blog.
A U G U S T
And promptly forgot about it. My son got really sick (again) and ended up spending two weeks with my parents. I couldn’t afford to take that much time off work. It made me realize how shitty being a single, working parent is. You feel like you’re being pulled in one million different directions and you’re not quite satisfying anyone. Heart-breaking. I also attended my first ever ‘fight night’. My then-boyfriend was on the fight card. I hated seeing him get hurt, but I also saw the absolute passion he had for the sport. He lost.
S E P T E M B E R
I got dumped, via text message. I flirted with the idea of setting his things on fire then thought better of it and returned them to his family home. I started running. I sat my final exam of the year. I went to an orientation day for work and met some lovely people. I sat next to one of the ‘big bosses’ during the first half of the event. I have forgotten everyone’s names. I went to Australia for my stepbrother’s wedding. My son had his first international flight. I went for a swim when it was 11°. We went to markets, had family barbeques, and drank a lot of wine.
O C T O B E R
I cut my running time down to a six-minute-kilometer. It sounds much less impressive when I write it down like that, but my fitness improved. A lot. I attended a first birthday party. I started a morning routine, beginning at 5:30am. I drank more coffee. I went on a lot of terrible first dates.
N O V E M B E R
I deleted Tinder. And Bumble. I decided to cleanse my life. I said goodbye to people who no longer served a purpose and reconnected with others. I made new friends. I decided to start working out every damn day. I cleaned up my diet. I began to really work on myself for myself.
D E C E M B E R
And here we are. I finished my training plan and have rediscovered my love of fitness. I swore off all men for the rest of summer. I took a day off to organize my life and ended up in another office branch anyway. More coffee, more running, more reading. I finished my 2018 Goodreads challenge, just in time. My son went to his father for Christmas. I went to Coromandel to see my family. I had my first Dunkin’ Donut donut in years. It was delicious.
I wrote this blog post and realized just how far I have come in a year.
It’s true when they say the days are long but the years are short. Small, consistent changes add up to something big. Everything begins and ends with your mindset, so remember to look after yourself. You are precious.
This year has been many things, but I wouldn’t change any of it. Bring on 2019!