‘The Bachelor’ Week One Recap: Did You Know Colton’s A Virgin?

I had this whole post about morning routines and what I do to stay on top of my (occasionally) insane life planned out… and then I saw that The Bachelor was featured on my ‘to be watched’ list.  So, guess what?

We’re going to be talking about abs, sparkly dresses, and virginity this morning!  How’s that for a change of pace?

Introducing: Colton

colton, the bachelor 2019
Source / ABC

Colton Underwood first appeared on Season 14 of The Bachelorette, Becca’s season.  He, along with other muscled males, made a play for Becca’s heart.  The road, however, never does run smooth in the course of love.  During the season, it was discovered that Colton had a romantic connection with another Bachelor Nation favourite, Tia.  Did he go on the show in the hopes of reconnecting with her?

The ‘drama’ didn’t stop there.  Colton confided in Becca that he was a virgin and admitted to falling in love with Becca before he was sent home after hometown visits.  He also appeared on Bachelor in Paradise where he reconnected with Tia.  Following the wrap of that show, Tia and Colton split up, with the announcement of him being ‘The Bachelor” coming in hot on the heels of that, the very next day.  Some people are asking if he’s ready to be ‘The Bachelor’ and are wondering how this season is going to play out.  I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to out myself as a Bachelor Nation fan.

I know some people write a play-by-play on the events on the night, some people live tweet the whole episode, and some write about their favourite moments from the night.  I, like Ashley, am going to write about the moments that caught my attention during the viewing party and the premiere of The Bachelor.

First impression:  Holy hell, some of these girls are young.

I’m talking about the ripe ol’ age of twenty-two sort of young.  I’m twenty-four and I don’t know what I want to eat for breakfast this morning, let alone knowing whether I’m ready for a lifelong commitment.  I think this became painfully clear in some conversations surrounding their desire to travel and explore before abruptly remembering they’re on a television show to fall in love, not travel the world.

demi, the bachelor 2019
Source / ABC

It is also evidenced in the conversations surrounding Colton’s virginity.  It was always going to be a point of interest, but to see so many women use his virginity as an ‘opener’ was cringe-worthy.  I mean, “I haven’t dated a virgin since I was twelve, but I’m willing to give it another shot” and another girl who had a cherry balloon and ‘popped it’.  Girls, seriously?

I’m all about empowerment and women taking control of their lives and bodies, but imagine if it was a guy saying that and performing those actions.  We would be burning him at the stake, not laughing it off.

First impression rose:  Hannah G.

hannah g, the bachelor 2019
Source / ABC

I don’t know about you, but I saw the chemistry between these two from the second she got out of the limo.  She is my absolute favourite woman from the night and, for me, she’s a front-runner.  It definitely helps that she got the first impression rose.  I see her going on to being in the final two.  Watch this space.

They didn’t get the first impression rose or a kiss, but damn there are sparks flying all over the place!  First up: Sydney, lookin’ at you girl.  The chemistry between those two became clearer and clearer when they were dancing beside a live freaking orchestra.

sydney, the bachelor 2019

Source / ABC

Next: Cassie.  I loved their little moment outside while she was teaching him how to sign rose, kiss, and “you’re cute”.  Girl, he is definitely picking up what you were putting down.  That body language was intense!  She also arrived with a box of butterflies and gave them to Colton, who slipped one into his jacket pocket when she entered the mansion.

Finally: Katie.  I just loved the way they sat on the couch and had a proper conversation.  Their body language really spoke to me and you could see they were really connecting on a level beyond the “Hello, how are you?” pleasantries.

First kisses: Three (!!!)

On all accounts, this is unprecedented in the history of The Bachelor.  Colton is a virgin (didn’t you know?) but that doesn’t mean that he’s meek or doesn’t know how to take control of a situation.  Don’t worry, ladies.  He can look out for himself.  Caelynn, Katie, and Hannah G. were the lucky ladies who got to claim the kisses of the first night.

Drama: Caelynn and Hannah B.

I think the first mention is the obvious tension between Caelynn (Miss North Carolina 2018) and Hannah B (Miss Alabama 2018).  Caelynn and Hannah B already know each other from the pageant world, so there’s a natural competitive edge to their relationship.  How is that going to shape up in the house?  I see a two-on-one date in their future.

caelynn, the bachelor 2019
Source / ABC

Oh, Catherine and her interruptions definitely deserve an honorable mention here.  One or two can get a pass, but four?!  We have passed ‘cute’ and are quickly entering the realm of ‘desperate/crazy’.  Go get your man, but let others have a fair shot, too.  It’s called The Bachelor for a reason.

Villain(s): Catherine and Demi

From the outset, I saw Catherine as a ‘villain’.  I don’t know if it was the accompaniment of her dog or the fact that she interrupted so many damn times (and had the guts to argue about it), but the woman managed to rub me up the wrong way.

Demi is the one who made the comment about not being with a virgin since the ripe ol’ age of twelve.  She was the first one out of the limo and she definitely made one hell of an impression.  A terrible one.  I’ve seen flashes of the previews for the season and it’s looking like it will shape up to be an interesting one!

Weird flex

  • One woman shows up in a Police vehicle.  She claims to be part of the ‘fashion police’ but it falls rather flat with me.
  • Someone dresses up in a sloth suit and proceeds to move and talk slowly, like a sloth.  It was funny for the first ten seconds and got rapidly awkward.  Even more so when she finally took the suit off and talked at the rate of one million miles a minute.
alex d, the sloth, the bachelor 2019
Source / ABC
  • Catherine bringing her dog and handing it over .2 seconds after meeting Colton.
  • The live viewing party taking place from a hot tub in the parking lot.  Just…why?
  • Chris Harrison’s mum being on the show.  I’m here for it.
  • The video montage of Chris Harrison’s involvement in the show.  I was hoping for some ~*drama*~ but that was just damn cute.  Also here for it.
  • Heather’s official job title is ‘never been kissed’.  She also says she can see her first kiss happening with Colton and kisses a photo she has of him.  Well, ok then.
  • Bri pretending to have an Australian accent.  Again, why?

Too cute:

  • The video montage of Chris Harrison’s involvement in the show.
  • All of the Bachelor Nation’s babies! Oh my goodness, be still my heart.
  • The two proposals that happened during the show! Yes, more, please.

Exits:

  • Tahzjuan
  • Erin
  • Devin
  • Revian
  • Alex D.
  • Laura
  • Jane

…And there you have it!  My recap of the first week of The Bachelor 2019.

Every year is said to be ‘more dramatic’ and ‘rules are broken’, so I don’t know about you, but I’m eager to see what happens next!

Are you a Bachelor Nation fan?  Who is your favourite Bachelor/Bachelorette?  Have you read any of the books written by Bachelor Nation cast?

signature, the caffeinated millennial

3 thoughts on “‘The Bachelor’ Week One Recap: Did You Know Colton’s A Virgin?

  1. your page looks fabulous. (I’m visiting from the fb blog elite page where i found you). i used to watch bachelor with my friend kathy when we were both childfree and bob the bachelor was a thing long ago. i miss those days. maybe it’s time for me to carve out some light girlfriend bonding time.

    Liked by 1 person

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