For once, I’m not cooking anything whilst watching The Bachelor. I am, however, working on my cookie recipe and I’m planning on sharing it with you next week!
We start this week with another visit from Chris Harrison who manages to mix up Caelynn and Hannah B’s names. Wait, what?? Was this done on purpose? You better believe it was. Chris Harrison has been on The Bachelor long enough to remember the names of random girls. Especially girls who hate each other’s guts.
He doesn’t come just to screw up names and start hate spirals – he came to tell the girls that they’re going to Singapore. In an hour. Hooray! Apparently, The Bachelor has never been to Singapore, so this is a first for the show, not just for Colton.
Demi has a line about Colton losing his virginity in Singapore and Hannah G asks where Singapore is. Ah, this group of girls are one confounding bunch.
Colton mentions the drama between Caelynn and Hannah B, so I’m guessing this episode is going to contain even more drama than the previous episode.
The girls are still screaming about Singapore! when a single date card arrives.
Holy moly, the Colton vlogging gig is back! He seems more relaxed about this one. I can’t help but notice that his hands are beautifully manicured. Now, on with the date!
Single date: ‘Tayshia, let’s fall in love’ – Colton.
They start with a romantic stroll down the beach…towards a huge ass bungy. It’s a product of AJ Hackett bungy, which was started in little ol’ New Zealand, so shout out for my country!
After some nerves, both Colton and Tayshia jumped. Separately.
They then stripped down at a beach and enjoyed being two good-looking people whilst drinking champagne and just having a grand ol’ time because they’re in freaking Singapore.
They move onto the evening part of the date and Tayshia alludes to a ‘heavy’ topic that she needs to address with Colton. Then she reveals that she was married and divorced! Girl, what? I expect that kind of stuff to be ‘outed’ in the first two weeks.
She gets the single date rose, they share another kiss and then go on a freaking ferris wheel.
Next up: group date!
‘Hannah G., Elyse, Kirpa, Sydney, Heather, Onyeka, Tracey, Nicole, Demi, Courtney, Katie, Cassie and Hannah B, let’s get a taste of Singapore’ – Colton.
There are thirteen women on this date, which guarantees there will be #drama.
Demi sprints up the street and jumps into Colton’s arms, in typical Demi over-the-top style. She’s jumping into his arms, being piggy-backed and getting drawings done of her and Colton. Basically, she’s absolutely killin’ it at this date.
It goes from fun to weird in .5 seconds. They went to a leech lady. Leech. They all get leeches on them. It’s not sexy. Hannah B has to reference Caelynn.
They then get a reading from a woman on the side of the street and it turns out that Cassie and Colton were siblings in a past life. Cool. Awkward.
They progress to the food part of the date and everyone is eating weird foods, including bullfrog and eyes. Apparently. Ew. They have drinks at a beautiful place and Colton tries to split his time between all of the girls. He manages to get around all of them, except Courtney.
He has meaningful one-on-one time with Demi, who tells Colton that her mother has been released from federal prison. We get to see a different side to Demi, and, I have to say, it’s a nice change of pace from mean-girl Demi. She makes me want to eat a lot of ice-cream and cry.
Meanwhile, Courtney is in tears as it gets to the end of the night, Demi gets the group date rose (yay!) and she still hasn’t had time with Colton. Despite her ‘trying‘. If you call sitting on a couch and waiting around ‘trying’. Nuh-uh, girl. There is always one of these girls in every season and they never last long.
I’ll be surprised if Courtney is still around after the rose ceremony.
The date ends and we’re back at the house where a man in a top hat goes to the apartment to deliver a card for Caelynn.
Single date: Caelynn, meet me downstairs…Colton.
They drive off in a super fancy car with a chauffeur to hit the shops. Literally. All of the shops. It’s a montage of Caelynn trying on outfit after outfit, dress after dress and Colton being stunned every single time. With reason. Caelynn looks amazing. I’m especially blown away by the shimmery, emerald-green dress that she emerges in at the end. Now that is a dress.
Caelynn returns to the apartment with a swath of bags and you can see the tension rise one million degrees. Cassie is in tears. Hannah B looks like her head is going to explode. Nicole just looks pissed off.
It can’t last too long because Caelynn is off for the dinner portion of the evening. In the emerald-green dress, which is a good distraction because she has to talk to Colton about something that happened in her past. What she talks about is not good, at all. I can’t imagine talking to a man about that, let alone having to do it whilst being recorded and knowing that it will be broadcasted to millions of people. It goes to show that Caelynn is one hell of a strong woman.
Caelynn got a rose from the date, which was expected after something as emotional as their conversation.
Time for a cocktail party!
We see Colton and Hannah G having a conversation about their relationship and how comfortable they are. It feels like they have something that is so simple and so easy. It’s like breathing for them. The chemistry that I saw on the first night is still there, which is nice to see. I like having my feelings about a person validated.
We skip back to the lounge in time to see Caelynn pull Hannah B aside. Hold on to your hats, ladies. Shit is about to get wild. They address the tension in the house and how their ‘tiff’ from the past is affecting their time in the house. They both accept that they each have connections with Colton and agree to accept their drama as water under the bridge…for now. They hug it out and return to the house. World War III has been averted. Hoorah.
Cut back to the lounge, we have Courtney low-key attacking Demi. She’s throwing shade on Demi’s behavior, age and attitude, and we know Demi is the villain, but she still doesn’t deserve it. Or maybe she does, but, hell, she’s just fulfilling the villain role. Immediately, Demi goes to Colton and warns him about Courtney, calling her the ‘cancer of the house’. So, you know, I may have to take back my comment of Demi not deserving it.
Needless to say, we cut to see Courtney and Colton talking, and Courtney takes no time in bashing Demi. You can see Colton starting to spiral again as his relationship with Demi is called into play.
Courtney walks back into the lounge and asks for a poll on who thinks she’s the cancer of the house. Demi immediately puts her hand up and shocks everyone in the area. They launch into an argument, which includes Courtney telling her that she needs to take a time out. Wait, what? Are we suddenly in kindergarten? I guess these women are younger than me but come on.
Hannah G. gets the first rose of the night, followed by Heather, Kirpa, and Hannah B. Katie gets a rose and I’m honestly struggling to remember who this woman is (sorry!). I guess this just shows who are becoming the ‘lead characters’ of the show and who don’t get any screen time.
The previews from the next episode show us that more shit is going to go downnnnn. I honestly don’t know what else could happen or be revealed at this point but dang, the show knows how to do teasers!