Autumn is finally here. I can feel it in my bones.
The sun is slow to rise, lazily making his way into the sky from his resting place below the horizon. The clear, blue skies promise warmth but a chill plays in the breeze. This is my favourite time of year. I love waking up to nothing but the sound of crickets and the odd car roaring to life as people begin their commute to the city.
Summer was a weird time for me. I felt uneasy. On edge. Anxious.
My soul was tired from doing the same thing day in, day out. I was in a rut and the more I spun my tires, the deeper I sank. The sun zapped my energy, and the heat did battle with my attention. I was floundering in every aspect of my life.
I wasn’t happy in my job, my house, my social life (or lack thereof), and I had a run-in with an ex-boyfriend that drained the life out of me. Needless to say, I am not a summer person.
I am an autumn baby.
I love the crisp, cool mornings of autumn. I love the quiet hum of the world waking up and greeting the day. I love the clear sky and the sharp breeze. I love watching nature transform before my eyes. I ground myself in my connection with the earth and the moon. I love lighting a candle and sinking into bed with a cup of coffee and a book. I will always pick the mountains over a beach.
The changing of seasons has stirred a change in me, too.
The frantic energy of the Mercury retrograde has gone (f*ck you, by the way), along with the energy from the super blood wolf moon of January, and the super snow moon at the end of February. Mercury delivered harsh lessons, the blood moon cleared bad energy, and the super snow moon made me stay awake for two whole days. Thanks.
Autumn rejuvenates me.
I feel centred. I feel calm. I feel light. I feel happy. I feel hope.
The new season has made me reevaluate everything about life as it stands. My word of the year is ‘build‘ and, with that, came a lot of internal pressure. I felt like I should be doing more, earning more, being more, and creating more. I should just be doing more of everything. It created a lot of fear, anxiety, and apathy. In the hope to do all the things, I lost the desire to do, well, anything.
The phrase ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ springs to mind. I was giving so many parts of myself to other people and energies, and not getting enough back. I was starting to pour from an empty cup and I could feel it in my soul.
We all know if a foundation is shit, the rest of it will be shit.
That’s why March is going to be the month of stepping into kindness. To myself.
I’m allowing myself to have a ‘selfish month’. If I don’t want to go to an event, I will say ‘no’ without guilt. I will nourish my body with the proper foods. I will go to sleep on time. I will drink more water. I will read – for fun. I will reestablish my long-lost self-care practices.
I want to rebuild the care and kindness I had for myself, and the rest will flow on.
So, with that in mind, my only goal for March is to be kind.
This is the first time (in a long time) that I haven’t set tangible goals. And you know what?
I’m feeling better about this month than any other so far.