It has been a hot minute, hasn’t it?
I’ve been meaning to jump on here and write an update for a long time but guys, it is hard. It is so hard to know what to write when I don’t feel 100%. I want to be positive but I also want to be ‘real’. Life isn’t always fluffy bunnies, rainbows, and sunshine. Sometimes it is a struggle.
Right now, it is a struggle.
A friend joked that I was having a quarter-life crisis and I (kind of) laughed it off, but her comment hit home. For a while now, I’ve felt like I’ve been stuck in a rut of wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed, aaaaand repeat. I started questioning if I was actually happy, if I was doing what I’m meant to be doing, and what I was willing to do to pivot. I was fighting, fighting, fighting the flow of life and, as a result, life was fighting back.
It took a long time and an internal struggle but I let go.
It might have been the super worm moon but something clicked.
Last week, I woke up and withdrew from my studies. That’s right – ya girl is a student no longer! And boy oh boy, it feels good. I had been struggling for a while. I felt unproductive and stuck. My friends and family have been shocked by this sudden pivot but I know this is the right move for me. I love the law and I have a lot of respect for people who make a living in the field, but I don’t think it’s the right one for me.
As soon as I did that, my boss came to me and asked if I wanted to step up and take on more responsibility in the office. Temporarily. I’ll be managing two people, directing the workflow in the office, and being the general head (admin) bitch in charge. I had been thinking that I want more but I wasn’t expecting it to come from within my own workplace. My new role starts next week and I am excited (!!!) but nervous. This is my first ‘adult job’ and I’ve only been in this office for nine months so this is a huge step up.
Due to the sh*tstorm of the above, my health took a major battering. I’m talking next-level.
I was so focused on my professional life that I forgot about my health. At the end of last year, I was working out every day and my diet was 90% vegetables. I was at the peak of my wellness journey in December and due to some unfortunate life events, everything fell apart.
I can count the number of times I’ve actively exercised on one hand. My diet consists of coffee, chocolate rice cakes, and sneaky handfuls of brownie. I gained weight. Not a lot, admittingly, but enough to make me feel uncomfortable in my own body. Needless to say, I’m stuck in a cycle and my body has finally broken down. I have a stomach virus that has knocked me on my ass. I’m in bed, cuddling a soft toy as I listen to podcasts and write this blog post. I’m also making a promise to myself to double down on my wellness journey once I’m back to normal.
The bookworm in me is thriving. I have piles and piles of books, all stacked over my bedside table, dining table, and on the floor beside by my bed. What am I reading? Well, Girl, Wash Your Face, How to Be a Bawse, White Hot Truth, and The Big Life to name a few.
I’ve missed this space so much. I miss sharing my thoughts, creating content, and connecting with all of you. This blog provides a balance to my otherwise process-oriented life. Like my health, I’m making a vow to work on it and improve my blogging game.
Here’s to finding my happy, working on my health, and flexing my creative muscles. March is almost over but I’m going to do my damnedest to make the most of it.