If We Were on a Coffee Date…

Once upon a time, I was a blogger. I would drink coffee and write until my heart was content. I would even pretend that we were on a coffee date and I’d update you on my life because – if you’re reading this – I consider you to be a friend. As it turns out, I’m not the only one who wrote these posts. So, thanks to a little inspiration from Neely and Catherine, I have decided to bring it back!

I would be the one sipping on a triple shot flat white with a pump of caramel because it was just one of those mornings. In a takeaway cup because I have a four-year-old son, and everyone knows they are a ticking timebomb. I would also have a date scone smothered in butter because I am an old woman at heart.

I would tell you that I am one month away from finishing the first semester of my new degree. It took a lot of soul searching and pro/con lists to return to university, but it is the best thing I could have done. I am learning so much, not just about my future career but also about myself (and my son). My values, ethics, and core beliefs align with social work. I’m not trying to fit myself into a box or reduce anything about myself. It all just works, and it feels as easy as breathing. I know I’m at the beginning of this journey, but it just feels right.

I would tell you that my baby is four and a half years old…so, he’s not really a ‘baby’ anymore. That being said, I’m sure every parent will agree that they will always think of their children as babies, no matter how old they are. He’s starting primary school next year, and my heart just bursts when I think about dropping him off at the school gate with the new entrants’ class. It feels like so much time, yet no time at all has passed. It’s one of those ‘blink, and you’ll miss it’ moments. I laughed when I first heard, “the days are long, but the years are short.” Truer words have never been spoken. My baby is growing up.

I would tell you that I’m falling out of love with Auckland. I have lived here for three years, and it has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride (thank you, Covid-19). I came here as a twenty-four-year-old single parent with an eighteen-month-old baby. It was hard going for a long, long time. I lived alone and had to juggle working, parenting, and having some semblance of a social life. There were many times where I have doubted myself. Cried. Fallen apart. Picked myself up and dusted myself off. Started again. Now, as a twenty-seven-year-old, I think I have done my dash with the city. For now.

I would tell you that I have missed being able to sit down and write for fun. I can’t remember the last time I have written just to write. I have written letters and essays, sent emails, and typed up notes for over three years. This is the first time – in a long time – that I can just relax and be. And you know what? It feels like taking a full breath. It feels like a cold beer on a summer’s day and a hot cup of coffee in the morning. It feels good. It feels right. And, more importantly, I can’t wait to do it again.

If we were on a coffee date, what would you tell me?

xo, Carena

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